Latest Articles from the Blog

Schooled by the Kids

Posted by on Jul 9, 2014 in Parenting Education | 1 comment

The other day, my boys gave me a real schooling.   Kai and Bodhi schooling their daddy   We were driving to the beach and some bicyclists were really hogging up the road. I got a little impatient with not being able to get by, and as I finally pulled around them I said something like, “Move your ass!” (apparently not under my breath like I thought.) All of a sudden from the back seat I hear my nearly six-year-old, Kai — “Dad, you shouldn’t really talk like that.” Ooops. “Yeah, you are right buddy. I kind of lost my cool, huh?” I replied. He continued, “You could say something like ‘excuse me…coming through’.” “Ohhh, that is a better way to do it,” I said, smiling broadly now. (Sooooo cute.) I thought it was over, but then little Bodhi chimed in. “ could say, ‘I ‘m on da side…dank you’.” A belly-laugh starts to shake my body, but I keep it as quiet as possible — trying to take this seriously and be respectful. “You could also say,…” and this went on for another minute or so —my little boys, ping-ponging back and forth, schooling me on manners and being respectful. Now this is awesome to me for several reasons. #1 It was just funny as hell! They literally each took about three turns each providing me with different ways I could communicate my feelings in a respectful way. They were so into it, and it was so damn cute. […] Read more…

Beyond My Edge

Posted by on Jun 19, 2014 in Essential Development | 3 comments

I am way passed my edge, yet again.   Sometimes, I feel like I am just not going to make it   I woke up not feeling rested. I need space and quiet to come to, to land in my body. Right now I am just too irritable to deal. But it is my turn to be with the kids. And although my wife deserves the space more than I do — she has been “on” 24/7 for the last three days straight — I still don’t want to do it. “Buck-up and be a man,” my superego says to me. “F*#k you,” I respond. (Why when things are the most difficult does my own conscience pile on and make me feel worse? Where is the love bro???) This inner dialogue continues as I strain to listen to my son and his massive, run-on sentences. OK, eye contact…focus…what the hell is he saying?!? “Oh it was Lightning McQueen who got the bad guys? Uh huh. Oh, no?… Sorry I misunderstood you…Mater is not a bad guy. OK, got it…” And then an entirely new monologue begins. I take a deep breath, steadying myself for the next round. Where the hell is my coffee?!? Suddenly I hear Kai’s little brother wake up, crying of course, and start to scramble up-stairs to bring him down so my wife can sleep. Kai’s wants to come up, but I say “No. Wait here. I’ll be right back.” He is hurt and mad at me. […] Read more…

Gratitude for Daddy-Gifts

Posted by on Jun 13, 2014 in Essential Development | 0 comments

This is a letter of appreciation to fathers, and to the fatherly qualities that parents of each gender offer as nourishment to our beloved children.     Thank you daddy, for making sure that we have a roof over our heads, that we have food in our bellies, and that we have a place where we can relax into each others arms in safety. Thank you for holding me like I am the most precious jewel in the entire world. Thank you for mirroring to me my presence and my own essential nature. And thank you for simply breathing with me as we hug, holding me firmly but gently against your strong body until I am ready to let go. Thank you for standing nearby while I struggle with doing things on my own, for not interfering until I am ready to receive help, and for not letting me give up to soon. You have shown me the value of steadfastness, of sticking to something until it is done right, and in turn I have grown confident and my will is increasingly becoming aligned with the will of the universe. Thank you for embodying support — that quiet, mountainous quality that I know I can push off of as I enter into the world. And thank you especially for always allowing me to collapse back into your loving arms whenever I just need to completely let go, refuel, and come back to a place of deep holding and rest. Thank […] Read more…