States of Mind
Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death. Anais Nin Last week I wrote about the forms of attachment. One point I tried to stress was that these categories of relationship are rooted in mental processes going on inside the child and caretaker and are not necessarily permanent traits of either person involved. If this were not true, people with difficult attachment histories would not be able to heal themselves and engage in “secure-style”...
Read MoreThe Forms of Attachment
“What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.” Mother Teresa Over the last several months I have written about how the relationship we have with our children affects their nervous systems. This includes momentary changes in their state of consciousness as well as how our interactions shape the development of their brains over time. Thus far I have tried to make more general comments and not be too scientific about things, but now it is time to lay out some of this science so we have a common understanding as we move forward into deeper waters. In this...
Read MoreBasic Trust and Inherent Value
Innate qualities, most evident in infancy, that reflect our direct contact with the support, love, and intelligence of the universe. When a human being is born, it generally spends a good portion of its time in Beingness, a relaxed state characterized by an implicit basic trust in the unfolding of life. When the baby is hungry or uncomfortable, he will begin to communicate his inner state to his caregivers via various non-verbal signals — wiggling the body, making facial expressions, and eventually crying out. These innate mechanisms of communication with the caregiver, which are part of...
Read MoreThe Tension of Being “On”
Last week I posted a poem by William Martin — Empty Yourself of Worries. I love how poems and stories really cut to the heart of the matter. There is so much power and truth in their simplicity and they tend to by-pass the thinking/analyzing/worrying mind. For our relationships and sense of fulfillment in life, this is a good thing. The area of exploration this week is how relaxed can we be in our parenting and still get the job done? Have you ever noticed the degree of tension that can build up in your body-mind just trying to get out of the house for a trip to the park? “OK…I...
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Chris White, M.D. is a board-certified pediatrician whose parenting work aims to optimize the developmental potential of children and their parents. He regularly writes on 
