Practice and the Middle Prefrontal Cortex

The human brain is a construction project in which genetics supplies the building blocks but social interaction largely determines how they are put together.
Dr. Daniel J. Siegel

In May I gave an overview of the four patterns of relationship seen in the Strange Situation: secure, avoidant, ambivalent, and disorganized. I described what researchers saw in the interactions between mother and baby at home and how these babies responded to separations from their mother in the Strange Situation. I also pointed out that infants can have different patterns of response to different caregivers, for example, being rated secure with the mother, but avoidant with the father. These patterns of interaction — or attachment styles — remain remarkably stable over time, affect many domains of the child’s functioning, and tend to especially become recurrent patterns of relating with other people across ones life. The explanation of how this occurs, and there is ample evidence for this, is that the developing mind and brain of a child is shaped by the interactions she has with her caregivers. If we use the definition of the mind proposed by Dan Siegel — an embodied and relational process that regulates the flow of energy and information — we can see that it is the regulation of the flow of energy/information by the mind (which is supported by the functioning of the brain) that is likely affected in an adverse way in the insecure attachment styles. Let’s turn our attention to probably the single most important part of the brain, the middle pre-frontal cortex.

The middle pre-frontal cortex (mPFC) is a region of central importance in the process of regulation and it does this through the mechanism of integration — linking differentiated parts of the brain together into a coherent and functional whole. This group of neural circuits is located in the middle of your forehead right between your eyebrows (right where the “3rd eye” or Ajna chakra is located). Here are the nine functions of the mPFC via it’s connections and interactions with many other parts of the brain and body:

1. Body regulation
2. Emotional balance
3. Fear modulation
4. Response flexibility
5. Attuned communication
6. Empathy
7. Self-insight
8. Morality
9. Intuition

As you can see, these capacities are absolutely essential to getting along in daily life and for the experience of well-being. When the mPFC is working well the energy running through our bodies is modulated efficiently, meaning that we are able to bring more energy into our system when we are facing some stress that requires activation and that we are able to calm down when the difficulty has passed. We stay in emotional balance and exhibit response flexibility, controlling our frustration and other impulses from boiling over into harmful action. We also experience less fear and anxiety. When we have access to healthy mPFC functioning we can engage in attuned communication with others and are capable of empathy. This naturally leads to moral behavior (not morality in terms of a dogmatic set of prescribed rules, but a morality rooted in empathy and a desire for all beings to be protected and cared for as much as possible). And simultaneously we are able to maintain contact with our own body-mind through the capacities of self-insight and intuition.

The first eight of these important mPFC functions have been found to be the outcomes of secure attachment (intuition has not been formally studied yet). Each of the insecure attachment styles have deficits in these areas, deficits that make every turn of their life more difficult from internal experience to outer relationships in work and home. Yet even those of us who have had a secure attachment relationship (either initially with our caregivers or with an important other later on in life — a so called “earned-secure” attachment status) can temporarily lose our mPFC functioning when we get overwhelmed with life circumstances. If we are over-tired, burnt-out, or “triggered” by something in the environment we can lose our capacity for self-regulation, empathy, and attunement and act out in ways that are harmful — to ourselves, our partners, and our children. During these times, we need to find ways to become re-integrated and get our mPFC functioning back on-line. These are exactly what the practices of Essential Parenting — mindfulness meditation, somatic practices, and inquiry — are designed to do.

Take home: The brain of your child is affected by the quality of relationship you have with them. In particular, the mPFC region is looking to us as parents for how it should wire itself up. If we generally respond in an attuned way that reflects to the child that we feel and understand them and are taking their needs into consideration, their mPFC will develop in a way that maximizes both stability and flexibility of attention and functioning. Ultimately, it is our own embodiment of mPFC functioning that supports our child’s brain to wire up in an optimal way, and this embodiment requires practice.

Under duress, we do not rise to our expectations – we fall to the level of our training.
Bruce Lee

Try: This week take up a practice of your own choosing. Take a look at the nine mPFC functions and see which of these is the first to go when you face stress and difficulty. Choose a practice for the week that you feel will help develop this capacity. Maybe sitting in meditation for ten minutes each morning before your child wakes up will develop a reservoir of calm for you body and emotions in the face of stress and reactivity. Perhaps “grounding down” for 30 seconds three times a day will help dampen your anxiety or frustration in the midst of your toddler’s tantrum and move the energy low in your body creating feelings of support, stability, and empathy instead. Or perhaps feeling your child from your heart several times a day will make it more likely that you enjoy these fleeting moments of simple togetherness rather than be consumed by worry and the never-ending monotony of your “to-do” list.

Make a clear commitment — what you are going to do, how long, and when — and make a plan to track your follow through. Involve a friend or your partner in your commitment for support.

When we use our brains in new ways by engaging in practices, they actually begin to rewire themselves accordingly. The key is that we have to engage the new behavior consistently over time for it to become a permanent trait wired into our nervous system and for it to be available when we need it. These intentional new behaviors, or practices, are the way that we continue to mature over the life-span, and the fruits of our practice become gifts for those that we love.

The greatest gift you can give someone is to get yourself together.
Wendy Palmer

Explore over a dozen practices contained within The Essential Parenting Home Course.

Click here for a description of the difference between the mind and the brain.
Click here for a four-minute video by Dan Siegel on how the brain changes across the life-span.