Resilience
“The mind creates the abyss, the heart crosses it.” Sri Nisargadatta Resilience is a quality we all want — now what exactly is it? Some people use the term resilience as the ability of an organism to survive extreme circumstances. Nature has provided its life forms with some amazing qualities of adaptation, and humans are no exception. But to me, survival — as important as it is — is only a first necessary step to thriving. The next two discriminations of resilience come — once again — from the insights of Gordon Neufeld. Gordon describes the next meaning of resilience...
Read MoreSelf-Regulation and Walking the Maze
The last couple of weeks we have looked at the adaptive process, its importance for long term maturation, and some general guidelines for how to support this process. This week we will take a look at the role of parental self-regulation and what it means to become adaptive ourselves. Your children are not mere lumps of clay waiting for your expert hands. They are the very energy of the universe and will become what they will become. They are sacred beings. If you tamper with them you will make everyone miserable… Stay at the center of your own soul. There is nothing else you can...
Read MoreHelping a Child With Tears of Futility
“Until your knees hit the floor, you’re just playing at life, and on some level you’re scared because you know it. The moment of surrender is not when life is over. It’s when it begins.” Marriane Williamson Last week we explored the intelligence of the adaptive process and it’s central role in developing a mature human heart. This week we will look at some of the specifics of how this process can be best supported towards that end. The above picture is one that Gordon Neufeld uses to describe the essence of the adaptive process. Here is a dragon trying in vain to...
Read MoreThe Invincible Vulnerability of the Mature Heart
“Adaptation is the heart of the discipline that works and the cost of the discipline that does not work.” Gordon Neufeld One of the signatures of American culture is our fight. Our “never give up” and “never say die” attitude pits us in a constant battle against reality. Even the New Age movement continues this thread with ideas such as “you create your own reality.” While it is true that we often limit ourselves through identification with negative self-images and beliefs, and concepts like The Secret can help people challenge those limiting...
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Chris White, M.D. is a board-certified pediatrician whose parenting work aims to optimize the developmental potential of children and their parents. He regularly writes on 
