The 12 Guiding Principles of Essential Parenting

  1. Every human being born into this world is aimed at a star of their full potential. That potential is a gift from Life itself.
  2. The journey towards that full potential is the process of maturation.
  3. Full maturity includes universal qualities and capacities such as wisdom, compassion, courage, self-insight, and unconditional love. And maturity also includes the recognition, cultivation, and offering of your unique gifts to this world and your specific way of loving.
  4. Life is the driving force and intelligence behind all maturation, but it requires the proper nourishment to do its work. Our primary job as parents is to provide the necessary nourishment for Life to mature our child.
  5. The intelligence of Life has hard-wired our children’s brains to attach to us, creating the necessary context in which to parent and provide nourishment for their maturation.
  6. The provision of relational nourishment can be thought of as “right relationship,” which is referred to in psychology as secure attachment.
  7. Secure attachment requires the parents to be an embodiment of a confident, wise, and unconditionally loving caretaker.
  8. The five essential elements of relational nourishment needed for Life to do its work of maturing our children are unconditional love, space, mentorship, healthy boundaries and “mistakes.”
  9. When the nourishment is not forthcoming, our brains naturally move to protect us with various defenses. The more these defenses become patterned into our psyche, the more the process of maturation becomes stunted.
  10. Discipline methods based on making love conditional increase insecurity, defensiveness, and behavioral problems over time.
  11. Right relationship helps the child maintain a basic trust in life and remain in contact with their inherent value. Right relationship grounds the nervous system in a felt-sense of safety, provides the optimal conditions for growth, and ultimately leads to true independence and the resolution of behavioral “problems.”
  12. As parents, you are the experts on your family. Essential Parenting aims only to awaken your naturally wise and loving heart and deepen your intuitive capacity to parent.