Attachment Parenting

Attachment Parenting 2.0 — Part 5

Posted by on Nov 15, 2012 in Attachment Parenting, Attachment Theory | 1 comment

There are things you can do every day to help your child feel connected to you. I will tell you a few stories about times with my oldest boy, Kai, so you can get a feel for how we deepen feelings of closeness in our home beyond simply being physically together. Once you get a sense of the principles, you will intuitively come up with your own ways to help your child "hold on" to you, which in turn supports them in feeling better, functioning better, and growing into their full potential in life most ease-fully.

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Attachment Parenting 2.0 — Part 4

Posted by on Oct 21, 2012 in Attachment Parenting, Attachment Theory, Practical Parenting | 1 comment

I once read an article on a very popular Attachment Parenting (AP) web site that said this: "A mother should never leave her child's side until the child is at least three years old because it will traumatize the child." This is simply not true. Attachment is much more than baby-bonding. One of the main confusions that continues in the AP literature is the belief that attachment is all about being physically together. To help move the conversation forward, lets turn to the brilliant research of Gordon Neufeld. After taking a year to study all of the various descriptions of how human beings stay connected to each other, Gordon landed on a model that describes six levels of attachment—five beyond physically being connected.

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Attachment Parenting 2.0 — Part 3

Posted by on Oct 5, 2012 in Attachment Parenting, Attachment Theory, Practical Parenting | 0 comments

Many of you are bordering on superhero status. I know; I have seen it. You are making heroic efforts every day to pull yourself out of bed on very little sleep, to be cheerful, attentive, and available. But if you are caring for your children without a village of support, you are probably feeling a little thin. If it is only you and your partner caring for your children, that is too small. Few if any nuclear families I have seen look relaxed, rested, and unstressed. Something is amiss. Everything I have seen points to this simple fact: "It takes a village." Not that our kids won't survive and be all right. But let's be honest: things could be better. So here are a few suggestions to help you widen your village.

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Attachment Parenting 2.0 — Part 2

Posted by on Sep 27, 2012 in Attachment Parenting | 5 comments

With all the firestorm and fallout after the Time magazine cover story on Attachment, I felt it was as good a time as ever to reorient the debate. I have lots of respect for those who want to take on the national media and cultural norms that are often so fear-driven and judgmental. Stepping up to this debate is an important part of creating change in this world for the better. (And once again, Pathways to Family Wellness is taking on the big issues and the status quo and for that I thank them.) But in this post I don’t want to take any time “preaching to the choir,” but...

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Attachment Parenting 2.0

Posted by on Sep 21, 2012 in Attachment Parenting | 0 comments

“Are You Mom Enough” was meant to get everyone fired up and it did. Now Pathways to Family Wellness is doing what it does best and is drilling down beneath the hype and getting at the real issues that affect parents and their children on an everyday basis. Check out the new issue here. Same family, totally different feel.   I am going to start from this assumption: You are the choir and don’t need to be preached to. You know your children need connection, love, and attention above all else. You know if they are to become independent in a healthy way that they will need a period of...

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Independence Requires Attachment

Posted by on Sep 20, 2011 in Attachment Parenting, Practical Parenting | 2 comments

Hold your kids so they can fly. Several months ago, I wrote a post re-framing the way we might think about discipline. The short and skinny of that post is this: Real discipline is not merely obtaining short-term compliance out of your kids, but helping them become mature, self-motivated, and self-directed beings who understand the truth of interdependence. These qualities and capacities emerge when the brain is supported in wiring up in the most complex way possible, and in particular, when the pre-frontal cortex develops optimally (the area right between the eyes and behind the...

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