Parenting Advice

Shaming Your Child Online

Posted by on Sep 30, 2012 in Essential Development, Parenting Advice, Parenting Education | 1 comment

I saw this video and just wanted to cry. I am sad to feel what this little girl is subjected to day in and day out. So sad, my heart is spontaneously sending prayers to her and the rest of her family. I am sad for the state of the media and culture it serves. To present this as some kind of legitimate debate about the nature of discipline is only to be thinking of profits. That is no vocation, only a job. And lastly, I am sad for this man. What hell he must have endured to be so cold. What hell he must endure every moment of his life feeling so shut down and hateful. What a cold lonely existence. No amount of screaming or trying to shame him will help. Only our tears and our loving resolve can make a dent in the pain of this world.

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3 Levels of Behavioral Control

Posted by on Oct 15, 2011 in Parenting Advice | 0 comments

When children are properly nourished they grow into self-motivated, self-directed beings capable of respectful and responsible behaviors on their own. There is a natural evolution through what is termed behavioral control. And because this natural evolution will allow us to retire from the work of parenting one day, I am suggesting that we Trust the developmental process Focus on providing the 5 Essential Elements of Relational Nourishment Refrain from discipline methods that hamper this natural development   Here is a brief summary of the Levels of Behavioral Control:   Level 1...

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Take Crying Seriously; But Not Too Seriously

Posted by on Jul 15, 2011 in Most Popular Posts, Parenting Advice, Parenting Education, Practical Parenting | 1 comment

Let’s be honest—crying is tough on the nervous system. And it is designed to be. When children have an unmet need that is beginning to really cause a disruption in their nervous system, they cry or get really whiney as a direct reaction to the discomfort. The crying then enters us through our senses—mostly through sound, but visually as well if we see their contorted face and the tension in their bodies—and then travels from the sensory areas of our brain, into the limbic system and down into our bodies, all resulting in the feeling of “Something is wrong and we have got to...

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Preserving Intrinsic Motivation

Posted by on Sep 11, 2010 in Parenting Advice, Parenting Education, Practical Parenting, Preserving Wholeness | 5 comments

“When unconditional love and genuine enthusiasm are always present, “Good job!” isn’t necessary; when it’s absent, ‘Good job!’ won’t help.” Alfie Kohn   The use of punishments and rewards is not the best way to motivate people. (Especially if those people happen to be your family!) In his book Drive, Daniel Pink lays out the overwhelming evidence that narrow Behaviorism — the use of punishments and rewards — not only is mediocre in terms of getting compliance, but more importantly is does not bring out the best in human beings. Though the book is...

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Intro to the Essential Parenting Blog

Posted by on Nov 3, 2009 in Attachment Theory, Parenting Advice, Parenting Education | 3 comments

Are you interested in how attachment affects the developing brain? How our relationship with our children actually changes the way they experience themselves and the world? And how mindfulness practice can optimize both their brain development and their functioning in the world? The Essential Parenting Blog is designed to answer two fundamental questions: 1) What is a human being? 2) How does one develop, grow, and mature? The first series of articles — Attachment, Mindfulness, and the Developing Brain — will focus on Attachment Theory and how a child’s attachment relationship with...

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Loving Discipline

Posted by on Oct 30, 2009 in Attachment Parenting, Essential Development, Online Parenting Class, Parenting Advice, Parenting Education, Practical Parenting | Comments Off on Loving Discipline

Loving Discipline

Got discipline problems? Beyond authoritarian and permissive parenting lies a whole new way of guiding your kids toward true freedom and deeply respectful relationships.

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