Preserving Wholeness

The Yin and Yang of Discipline

Posted by on Jan 26, 2012 in Practical Parenting, Preserving Wholeness | 0 comments

Have you ever felt confused by the seemingly contradictory advice from “parenting experts?” You are not alone. Each approach to parenting — especially in the arena of discipline — claim to have the best method and often flatly refute the views of the other approaches. This drove me crazy, until one day the pieces snapped into place. Children need a variety of forms of nourishment to grow up whole and reach their full potential. Just like the physical body needs a variety of foods to get its complete nutritional requirements, the developing psyche needs a broad palate of...

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Letter to Conscious Parents Everywhere

Posted by on Dec 10, 2010 in Essential Development, Online Parenting Class, Preserving Wholeness | 1 comment

Dear conscious parent, I don’t have to tell you what a wonderful and wild ride parenting is. With all its sleepless nights, the toll on the body, and what seems to be the end of peace and quiet forever, parenting is still one of the most enriching things that any of us could ever do with our one precious life. And as lonely as it feels sometimes, I am here to tell you that you are not alone. Many of us are swimming against the tide, trying to stay conscious in the middle of a culture and a body-mind that often prefers to be asleep. What is it that drives us to be awake — to make choices...

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Autonomy and the Emergent Process

Posted by on Sep 24, 2010 in Preserving Wholeness | 3 comments

Without the internal fire to become ones own person — to develop your own beliefs, feelings, desires and motivations — we do not feel responsible for our actions and instead live in a perpetual illusion of victimhood. Last week I relayed Daniel Pink’s proposal that autonomy, mastery, and purpose are the areas that we should focus on developing if we want to bring the best out of human beings. This week I will take autonomy and widen it into a more useful construct: the emergent process. The emergent process is one of three streams of the maturational process as...

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Preserving Intrinsic Motivation

Posted by on Sep 11, 2010 in Parenting Advice, Parenting Education, Practical Parenting, Preserving Wholeness | 6 comments

“When unconditional love and genuine enthusiasm are always present, “Good job!” isn’t necessary; when it’s absent, ‘Good job!’ won’t help.” Alfie Kohn   The use of punishments and rewards is not the best way to motivate people. (Especially if those people happen to be your family!) In his book Drive, Daniel Pink lays out the overwhelming evidence that narrow Behaviorism — the use of punishments and rewards — not only is mediocre in terms of getting compliance, but more importantly is does not bring out the best in human beings. Though the book is...

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Wholeness, not Perfectionism

Posted by on Mar 9, 2010 in Preserving Wholeness | 1 comment

“Do not doubt your own basic goodness.  In spite of all confusion and fear, you are born with a heart that knows what is just, loving, and beautiful.” Jack Kornfield, The Art of Forgiveness, Lovingkindness, and Peace Sometimes when I speak about the importance of wholeness, I see signs of fear and stress appear in parent’s faces. For some, Preserving Wholeness is just one more thing that they have to do in their already busy lives. For others who are really doing their best to give their son or daughter everything that they themselves never had as a child, it’s another...

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Wholeness and Integration

Posted by on Feb 28, 2010 in Preserving Wholeness | 4 comments

So what is this concept of wholeness that we are talking about? What does it mean to grow up in an environment that helps you preserve your wholeness? Are any of us really not whole? It is true that at one level of perception — the perception that some meditative traditions refer to as the non-dual — we are all whole and perfect exactly as we are. From this state of awareness, the entire world is experienced as one singular Consciousness. This underlying field of Presence is referred to by many names: Nature, Life-force, Spirit, God, Consciousness, True Nature, the Tao, and Love to name a...

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